23 Things You Must

Listicles are necessary for healthy living!

Little things mean a Lot. Eventually. If you have enough of them.

In a recent opus, I mentioned cell phones were a big problem in public schools. ICYMI, it got bad enough in one AZ school that the teacher (a millennial) quit. He couldn’t handle the students’ indifference to learning and the school’s refusal to establish a policy controlling access and use in the classroom.

One reader (Timmy Taes) observed: “Cell phones aren’t permitted in prison. Public school is a prison. How do students get to have phones?” Point taken.

Resolving the “Cell Phones in Public Schools” issue will not determine the fate of the Free World, already paddling around the deep end of the cesspool.

But just as one snowflake isn’t responsible for the avalanche, in sufficient numbers, this is how disasters are created.

Then there’s our societal addiction to Instant Gratification.

We didn’t get here overnight, and we won’t get to where we want to be overnight either.

Why the delay?

One reason is that we’ve spent several generations making ourselves stupid. One outstanding method is mandated warnings that previously came with a common-sense upbringing.

Do you need the perpetual ‘plastic bag’ warning? How do you know not to swallow the desiccant in the vitamin bottle? Ever been tempted to pop a few Tide ‘pods’? Does it take a genius to understand that microwaved foods are hot? Knives are sharp! Who knew?

And then there are the Warnings!

“This [material/case/video/set of images/class session] contains [description/depiction/live discussion] of [violence/death/abuse/self-harming behavior/hate speech/discrimination/other] some may find disturbing.” (Read by Every News Reader Everywhere before showing a seriously pixelated ‘news’ clip.) Following the News, stay tuned for “Saving Private Ryan”!

A few of my favorites:

• "Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." – Tiny print in the information booklet.

• "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

• "For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.

• "Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.

• "Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.

• "Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.

• "Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.

• "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.

• "This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool.

• "Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant.

• "Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.

• "Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter.

• "Battery may explode or leak." -- On a battery. See a scanned image.

• "Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.

• "This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater.

• "May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.

• "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock."

• "Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box.

• "Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup.

• "Caution: Shoots rubber bands." -- On a product called "Rubber Band Shooter."

• "Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a Frisbee.

• "Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.

• "Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.

• "Do not recharge, put in backward, or use." -- On a battery.

• "Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion.

• "Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer.

• "Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.

• "For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod.

• "For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.

• "Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener.

• "Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.

• "Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jet ski.

• "Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects) measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm.

• "Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty.

• "Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.

• "Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers.

• "Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink.

• "Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a milk crate.

• "Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant.

• "Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.

• "Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757.

• "Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.

• "Look before driving." -- On the dashboard of a mail truck.

• "Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for an iron.

• "For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights.

• "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child-sized Superman costume.

• "Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.

• "Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.

• "May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.

• "Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.

• "Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts.

• "Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the Styrofoam packing.

• "Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.

• "Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 caliber rifle.

• "Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.

• "Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.

• "Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.

• "Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch

Trust me. There are more. Many, many more.

Assuming you are amazed and appalled and believe such ‘warnings’ should be filed somewhere between ‘asinine’ and ‘ridiculous’, it’s most likely due to having two loving parents or even one loving savvy parent with the experience, common sense, and love to know what “inculcate” means.

So what happened? Where did all the parenting and discipline that benefited most Boomers go?

Well…there’s a book to be written! Right alongside the other 60,000 currently available on Amazon.

While the notorious Helicopter Parents (mostly Gen X’ers) have made some stunning headlines on the Childrearing page, it wasn’t for the basic ‘parenting skills’ desperately needed today. Instead, it tested the tolerance of school teachers and local cops who had the temerity to chastise their Sweet, Precious, Innocent Progeny.

Sadly, just like Cell Phone Control, instilling good ole’ common sense parenting won’t save the world from profligate spending, Lawfare, open borders, drug use, psychopathic politicians, and lousy schools. But if you believe Armageddon or its look-a-like is further off than, say, 2030, when Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid are forecast to go broke, and the economy collapses, getting a start might not be a waste of time.

Oh – if you haven’t heard: Trump was found Guilty on all counts. Surprised?

Just sayin’…You may have blinked.

BW

Thanks for reading this far. There’s lots more to come. You can take that as a promise or a threat! Either way, forewarned is…forewarned! So grab a sub (not the sandwich) by tapping, clicking, or nudging the button below!