Oval Office Smackdown: Summary

Best you'll see anywhere

As predicted, the Cyberverse exploded with articles, videos, posts, and memes after last week's Oval Office Smackdown; everyone Left, Right, Center and God was represented with their corresponding lean. Trump, Vance, Zelensky all praised, damned or prayed for on every platform.

It’s difficult but not impossible to find balanced reporting and analysis these days; the author or the reader each brings their jaundiced view to the story. Here is the most objective, fair and factual I’ve seen from one of the best in the biz, Matt Taibbi.

BW

Forget the WEF, the WTC, and WHO. After Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky’s visit to Washington today, the new reigning international body is WTF! Did that really happen?

Zelensky’s much-anticipated meeting with Donald Trump and J.D. Vance Friday afternoon led to one of the weirdest Oval Office scenes in history. What started as nervous diplomacy ended as a Three Stooges pie-fight, with the black-costumed Ukrainian leader leaving as two eyeholes covered in cream.

Trump and Vance fared better, but were clearly taken by surprise. Both were expecting Zelensky to sign a deal forking over $500 billion in rare earth development rights in exchange for American funding during the last three years of war. Not until early into the photo op did they realize they’d been punked.

This was the beginning of the end of the Zelensky legend. He came to Washington as the tough-talking spokesmodel for the “rules-based international order,” and left as a costumed pre-teen sent home with an empty trick-or-treat basket

Zelensky’s DC visit was not by invitation, or appeared not to be. “I hear that he’s coming,” Trump said Wednesday. “Certainly it’s okay with me if he’d like to.” Trump for the rest of the week told the press it would be a “big deal” if Zelensky signed a financial settlement giving the U.S. development rights. In hindsight, he might have done better to wonder why exactly Zelensky was coming.

At the start of the presentation, Trump said he’d talked to Putin. “We’re going to try and bring this to a close,” he said. Then, looking at Zelensky, he added, “It’s something that you want and that he wants.” Zelensky didn’t interject, but shortly after began talking about American support, saying, “It’s very important” to “continue it.” About ten minutes after that, Zelensky said the United States “will not stop support.” He returned to the theme multiple times.

When the floor was opened to reporters, Trump was asked about sending arms to Ukraine. He seemed to suspect by then that something was up, and spelled things out. “Yeah, sure,” he said, about arms. “Hopefully I won’t have to send very much because hopefully we’re going to have it finished. We’re looking forward to finishing this quickly.”

Minutes later, Zelensky said, “We can’t just speak about ceasefire and speak and speak. It will not work.” He mentioned that Putin had violated agreements many times before, so why trust him now? Of course, Trump was saying Putin would be making the deal with Ukraine and the United States, which is different in a thousand ways than a deal with just Ukraine. Zelensky huffed at this, effectively saying he didn’t trust America (read: Trump) to hold Putin to his word.

“25 times [Putin’s] broken cease fire,” Zelensky said.

“He never broke to me,” snapped Trump, realizing the meeting had moved into deeper water.

From there it was obvious the two sides had fundamentally different understandings. Trump and Vance clearly saw the minerals deal as a necessary precursor to making a security deal with Putin. Zelensky meanwhile began talking as if he intended to keep fighting with or without American support. One can call that brave, but once Trump and Vance realized they’d invited a throng of international media to have Zelensky call them out on their home ice, the mood turned ugly fast.

Incidentally, it’s not hard to sympathize with the idea that Zelensky must do everything possible to keep his country from being overrun. But his only shot was to play to the sympathies of American voters. He did the opposite, doing everything but micturate on the White House furniture.

In one particularly nasty exchange, when Trump talked about cities in Ukraine being destroyed, Zelensky said this was false, adding that children were going to school, and “maybe it’s Putin, sharing this information that he destroyed us.” This was straight out of the “Donald Trump is advancing Russian disinformation” playbook.

Zelensky early on also insisted that, “We really defend Europe,” because “all Europeans really recognize that we are defending line… That’s why they helped us.” At this, Trump pointed out that we have an “ocean” between us and Russia and therefore it made no sense that we were paying so much more than Europe.

“No, no,” Zelensky said, repeatedly denying even the idea that the U.S. sent more support than Europe.

Later, Zelensky said, “You have a nice big ocean so you don’t feel now, but you’ll feel it in the future.” This was Zelensky’s faux-soldier act amped to 11, warning about a threat whose gravity only a war-torn hero could understand, invoking the specter of Russia invading the United States.

At this, Trump blew his top. It was a combination of everything: Zelensky continually talking over him and Vance, claiming he was defending Europe and the United States, saying Trump’s word was worthless, and acting like he was doing something other than showing up for the umpteenth time to beg more billions out of the American taxpayer, only this time selling himself with rudeness instead of cloying theatrics.

“Don’t tell us what we’re going to feel. We’re trying to solve a problem. Don’t tell us what we are going to feel,” Trump shouted. “You’re in no position to dictate that…You don’t have the cards right now. With us you start having cards. Right now, you don’t.”

Zelensky is a piece of work. “We’re not playing cards,” he said, righteously.

“You’re playing cards. You’re playing cards. You’re gambling with the lives of millions of people. You’re gambling with World War III.”

“I’m very serious,” insisted Zelensky, in his tailored war outfit. A reporter previously asked if he owned a suit and what the fuck, why did he come to the White House dressed this way? That seemed gratuitous at the time. Now, with his pleas about seriousness, not so much. The exchange got more heated when Vance jumped in, asking if Zelensky had said thank you. Zelensky responded by telling Vance he was wrong if he thought he could win an argument by “speaking wery loudly about the war.”

Trump verbally stepped in front of Vance, as if ready to throw on his behalf. It was the kind of thing you expect to see at last call at a Midwestern hotel bar, not the White House. “He’s not speaking loudly,” Trump shouted. “He’s not speaking loudly. Your country is in big trouble.”

Zelensky asked for a minute to speak. Trump said no, because “you’ve done a lot of talking,” and laid into him.

We don’t often get to see pure presidential rage in public, but Trump now gave it to Zelensky with both barrels with cameras rolling, yelling over him as he tried to mumble in protest. “You’re not winning. You’re not winning this. You have a damn good chance of coming out, okay? Because of us.”

Incredibly, Zelensky used the next pause to up the ante yet again.

“Mr. President, we are staying in our country, staying strong,” he said. “From the very beginning of the war, we’ve been alone...”

Alone? “You haven’t been alone!” Trump shouted. “We gave you, through this stupid president, $350 billion, for your military equipment and your men are brave, but they had to use our military. If you didn’t have our military equipment, if you didn’t have our military equipment, this war would’ve been over in two weeks!”

“In three days,” Zelensky quipped. “I heard it from Putin. In three days.”

In this peak-lunacy moment of the visit, Zelensky showed that whatever else one might think of him, he sure has big brass ones. It takes a special type of person to show up uninvited to the White House and accuse the president of being Putin’s bitch in the middle of demanding continued billions from him in military support.

Trump now backed off and composed himself long enough to try to sum up the scene. “I think it’s good for the American people to see what’s going on,” he said, pointing out that Zelensky was refusing a cease-fire, and it’s now going to be hard to get a deal done, because “the attitudes have to change.”

A Ukrainian reporter almost triggered an aneurysm in Trump after all this by asking what would happen if Putin violated a deal.

“What?” Trump asked.

“She’s asking, what if Russia breaks the cease-fire,” Vance whispered.

“What if anything?” Trump shouted. “What if a bomb drops on your head right now?”

In the end, Trump was forced to spell the situation out for Zelensky in all caps. “Make a deal or we’re out,” he said. “If we’re out, you’ll fight it out.”

Zelensky’s performance put all the war’s key actors in a jackpot. Trump now can’t remain committed to Ukraine even as a threatened option in negotiations, since Zelensky just arranged it so that Trump will look like he surrendered to his suitless “ally” if he does. If Trump does withdraw, meanwhile, that will put the onus on institutions like the IMF (which just agreed to send $400 million to Ukraine) and the collected European powers (leaders of France, Poland, Lithuania, Ireland, Sweden, and other nations pledged continued support for Zelensky right after the meeting) to become Ukraine’s new backstop.

Those foreign leaders and Democrats will now argue Trump has effectively chosen sides with Vladimir Putin (many are already doing this), perhaps in an effort to try to shame Trump back into full support of the war. I don’t see that happening, which leaves two eventualities.

In one, Ukraine would indeed “fight it out” with Russia alone. It’s hard to see that lasting long. In the other scenario, European money, weapons, and personnel would fill the oversized footprint of Joe Biden’s proxy war plan. But it won’t be the same. Without America on the other side of the conflict, Russian attacks on European territories would surely be more likely, NATO or no NATO. This would follow the same crazy pattern of the last three years, where it often seemed like Western politicians and military leaders were risking World War III in the short term in hopes of solidifying the alliance in the long term.

Whether on his own or at the behest of all those Macrons and Harrises and Kristerssons who had statements of support ready for the media this afternoon, Zelensky through his gauntlet-throwing performance essentially dared Trump to walk away from Ukraine and NATO. Anyone who thinks he won’t do it is delusional. I get the sense there are European officials who still doubt it. Talk about sitting on bad cards. This was going all in with nothing at all.

Once again, neoliberal bureaucrats seem bent on snatching needless war and misery from the jaws of resolution. What a development! Things are likely to fall apart quickly.