Two Things

Idle Mind = Devil's Plaything

If you actually watch TV commercials, you may have missed the latest expression of Buyer Satisfaction. Frankly, I don’t know how you could have missed it – and maybe it didn’t. It’s just not something normal people kick around over lunch or during last night’s over-hand bowling tournament. It only hit me due to 50 years in broadcasting. There’ s a certain symbiosis between an “on-air personality” and “now a word from our sponsors”

Commercials used to be fun or funny, informative and entertaining. At my ad agency, a side hustle back in the day, we prided ourselves on producing compelling spots that generated great market response. And (ahem), a couple Clio Award nominations. Back then, though, the market couldn’t have handled bears talking toilet paper or lizards selling car insurance. Some of today’s award-winning spots would never have made it out of the copywriter’s typewriter!

But today, when it comes to Buyer Satisfaction, there’s only one response required: Dance! Like your new car? Dance! Dance in it! While you’re driving! Kids and passengers, too! Crank up “Queen” and party hearty! But what about the car? Features? Gas mileage? Who cares! Just show the Ecstatic Buyer and friends dancing and laughing, the high you get from that new car smell! The dealer just has to stand by for the coming Sales Explosion! That goes for laundry detergent, candy bars, air fresheners, diet supplements, lawn mowers, hotels, pizza, feminine hygiene products and most any drug, pill, ointment or diet that ails ya! Toe fungus included! Try it! Buy it Use it! And dance, dance, DANCE!

Don’t get me wrong! I’m not some old fart who’s down on new stuff. Having been ‘in the business’, I just prefer commercials like we made. Hmmm…maybe I’m an old fart, after all!

Everybody dance now!

PS – Attention News Room

Here’s a helpful suggestion. OK – I know I’m from the Other End of the Hall and most DJs or Talk Show Hosts aren’t journalists and don’t have a Journalism degree and I’m one of ‘em. But I married one! A damned good one, too! Not only did she graduate from the prestigious S.I. Newhouse School of Broadcast Journalism at Syracuse University, she worked in major markets, at CNN (back when it was good!), an AP Award Winner, and my partner when we owned our own station. So, as former professional news junkies who haven’t kicked the habit, when we watch news programs together, the critiques fly fast and furious because it’s such a target rich environment for stutters, stumbles, mispronunctications, appalling writing, and embarrassing reporting, by people (many former colleagues) getting big bucks, some at the network level, who should practice their craft a lot better. Every day. That’s called professionalism, old friends. You know who you are!

For each of you – and as a tip to your audience – here’s some abused terminology you should avoid immediately:

To make a long story short…at the end of the day…the bottom line is…I mean…like…this is a sweetheart deal…a slap on the wrist…a Bombshell! Explosive! It looks like a war zone! 90 million people in harm’s way… It’s unacceptable! Unprecedented! Unbelievable!…Out of abundance of caution…for the children…for the greater good…for ordinary Americans…in Flyover Country…for our democracy…John, thankyouverymuch…So…I’m like…thanks for inviting us into your home…we’ll see you on the other side.

The current writer’s strike doesn’t affect you. Only you can prevent bad newscasts.

Thanks for reading this mildly irregular Substack entry, but that’s the way we roll. While Politics, Current Events, Social Issues, how they affect each of us and the world in which we’re currently living is our primary focus, I’ve noticed there’s a boatload of Other Stuff out there that deserves our attention. If you like what you read here, clobber the “Subscribe” button below while the subs are still free. I’ve heard the time is coming when they’ll be horrendously expensive; then what are you gonna do?(Don’t answer that – just hit the button). While you’re hitting things, hit that other button –“Share” – and let your friends know you’re not the only sick puppy with Internet access! If nothing else, it could prove if they’re really friends or not!

A little later,

BW