With the Great American Economic Recovery all the buzz these days, can Full Employment be far behind? For the sake of this discussion: of course not!
Now this means all you snowflakes out there in Wonderland, languishing in that rent-free Safe Space at your parents’ place while sharpening your gaming skills will need to ramp up for that long-awaited Big Job interview!
The following list – a public service of your humble scribbler - will help you to confidently take that new BA in “Post-Modern Medieval Jacobian Tap Ballet Square Dance” and convince the Fortune 5000 company to accept your demands to set your own hours, projects, personal hygiene, wardrobe, and work standards. In order to accomplish this, you will need to learn, know and effectively use this short list for success and your own apartment to be within your grasp!
5 Things To Not Say on the Job Interview:
#5 “Ya know?” is easily the most popular non-sequitur in common parlance today. Ubiquity notwithstanding, it reflects a laziness of speech and thought far beyond ignoring the most predictable response: “No, I don’t know.” Unless you are being interviewed by a close family relative familiar with your life and odious personal preferences, avoid liberally sprinkling your answers with the dreaded “ya know?”.
#4 “I mean…”. Similar to “ya know?”, “I mean” is both a crutch and unintended revelation. In answering the Interviewer’s questions, if you rely on “I mean” to begin nearly every response, the Employer could easily conclude you don’t have your act or thoughts together sufficiently, ultimately squandering large chunks of the work day to “revise and extend” your assigned tasks. Ya know what I mean?
#3 “Like” - Do you remember learning about “similes” and “metaphors” in English class? OK. Do you remember English class? No worries. Like Latin, English is becoming a dead language. (See what I did there?). While an otherwise perfectly useful part of speech, “like” has become just another crutch to be avoided similar to its verbal brethren above. Like, ya know what I mean?
#2 Tied for Second Place: “Yeah”, “Sure” and “ummm”. In too many instances, “Yeah” and “Sure” improperly modify #5-#3 above. While Ronald Reagan (a former US President) made constructive use of “Well...” in selective responses, it generally preceded statements on matters of national importance or executive humor. If your prospective job carries similar weight, feel free to use any of the above verbal crutches with impunity. Conversely, “ummm” leaves the prospective employer with the distinct impression of intellectual illiteracy or, worse, the appearance of having lapsed into your daily navel meditations, smack in the middle of the interview. Best to make no sound at all while frantically searching for something erudite to say. WARNING: Don’t search too long; the Interviewer may think you zoned out.
#1 Hands down, the word one must immediately expunge from the beginning of any response: “So...”. This recent and obnoxious speech habit even ranks above Public Nasal Harvesting and Eye-Tearing Flatulence. Repulsive examples are regularly inflicted by guests on a variety of news/chat shows. On the otherwise popular “Tucker Carlson Tonight” program on FOX News recently, a supposedly learned university professor began his response to five successive questions from Mr. Carlson with “So…”. At all costs, eschew the word “so” unless used as an adverb, conjunction, or if you are applying for employment at Singer, Brother, McCall/ Butterick Pattern Co., or an Amish Home Economics teacher.
A strict application of the above guidelines may help ensure a favorable “first impression” in contradiction to that anticipated by the Interviewer after observing your Date of Birth.
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Top 5 Tips for the "Big Interview"!
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With the Great American Economic Recovery all the buzz these days, can Full Employment be far behind? For the sake of this discussion: of course not!
Now this means all you snowflakes out there in Wonderland, languishing in that rent-free Safe Space at your parents’ place while sharpening your gaming skills will need to ramp up for that long-awaited Big Job interview!
The following list – a public service of your humble scribbler - will help you to confidently take that new BA in “Post-Modern Medieval Jacobian Tap Ballet Square Dance” and convince the Fortune 5000 company to accept your demands to set your own hours, projects, personal hygiene, wardrobe, and work standards. In order to accomplish this, you will need to learn, know and effectively use this short list for success and your own apartment to be within your grasp!
5 Things To Not Say on the Job Interview:
#5 “Ya know?” is easily the most popular non-sequitur in common parlance today. Ubiquity notwithstanding, it reflects a laziness of speech and thought far beyond ignoring the most predictable response: “No, I don’t know.” Unless you are being interviewed by a close family relative familiar with your life and odious personal preferences, avoid liberally sprinkling your answers with the dreaded “ya know?”.
#4 “I mean…”. Similar to “ya know?”, “I mean” is both a crutch and unintended revelation. In answering the Interviewer’s questions, if you rely on “I mean” to begin nearly every response, the Employer could easily conclude you don’t have your act or thoughts together sufficiently, ultimately squandering large chunks of the work day to “revise and extend” your assigned tasks. Ya know what I mean?
#3 “Like” - Do you remember learning about “similes” and “metaphors” in English class? OK. Do you remember English class? No worries. Like Latin, English is becoming a dead language. (See what I did there?). While an otherwise perfectly useful part of speech, “like” has become just another crutch to be avoided similar to its verbal brethren above. Like, ya know what I mean?
#2 Tied for Second Place: “Yeah”, “Sure” and “ummm”. In too many instances, “Yeah” and “Sure” improperly modify #5-#3 above. While Ronald Reagan (a former US President) made constructive use of “Well...” in selective responses, it generally preceded statements on matters of national importance or executive humor. If your prospective job carries similar weight, feel free to use any of the above verbal crutches with impunity. Conversely, “ummm” leaves the prospective employer with the distinct impression of intellectual illiteracy or, worse, the appearance of having lapsed into your daily navel meditations, smack in the middle of the interview. Best to make no sound at all while frantically searching for something erudite to say. WARNING: Don’t search too long; the Interviewer may think you zoned out.
#1 Hands down, the word one must immediately expunge from the beginning of any response: “So...”. This recent and obnoxious speech habit even ranks above Public Nasal Harvesting and Eye-Tearing Flatulence. Repulsive examples are regularly inflicted by guests on a variety of news/chat shows. On the otherwise popular “Tucker Carlson Tonight” program on FOX News recently, a supposedly learned university professor began his response to five successive questions from Mr. Carlson with “So…”. At all costs, eschew the word “so” unless used as an adverb, conjunction, or if you are applying for employment at Singer, Brother, McCall/ Butterick Pattern Co., or an Amish Home Economics teacher.
A strict application of the above guidelines may help ensure a favorable “first impression” in contradiction to that anticipated by the Interviewer after observing your Date of Birth.
So, yeah, I mean, sure, like ummm good luck!
Ya know?